Relationships can be difficult even on the best of days. You're not always going to agree on everything, and sometimes, your partner may say or do something that upsets you. These moments aren't always easy, but they are a natural part of any relationship. If you're looking for a way to improve your communication and relationship, perspective taking could be the answer you're looking for. Here's how to use perspective taking using the Gottman Method to improve your relationship.

Learn to Listen Without Judgement

The first step in perspective taking is to learn to listen without judgement. When your partner says something, try to see things from their point of view. Avoid being defensive or dismissive of what they say. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective. You don't have to agree with everything they say, but you should be able to understand where they're coming from.

Clarify Your Partner's Emotions

Sometimes, your partner may express their emotions in a way that makes it difficult for you to understand what they're feeling. In these cases, it's helpful to clarify their emotions. Ask them to explain what they're feeling, and try to understand why they're feeling that way. This way, you can better understand their perspective and work towards a solution.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is when you listen to your partner and then reflect back what you heard. This is a powerful way to show your partner that you're really listening to what they have to say. It also helps to make sure that you're on the same page. Repeat back the main points of what your partner said in your own words. This way, you can confirm that you heard what they were trying to say.

Use Empathy to Understand Your Partner's Perspective

Empathy is the ability to understand and share your partner's feelings. When you use empathy to understand your partner's perspective, you can work towards a solution that benefits both of you. Put yourself in their shoes and try to imagine what it would feel like to be in their situation. This can help you to better understand their perspective and find a solution that works for both of you.

Work Together to Find a Solution

Finally, it's important to work together to find a solution. Avoid trying to win the argument or prove that you're right. Instead, focus on finding a solution that benefits both of you. Brainstorm together and work towards a compromise that works for both of you. Remember, a healthy relationship is about teamwork, not competition.

Conclusion

Using perspective taking through the Gottman Method can be a powerful tool for improving your relationship. It can help you to understand your partner's perspective and work together towards a solution that benefits both of you. Remember to listen without judgement, clarify your partner's emotions, practice active listening, use empathy to understand your partner's perspective, and work together to find a solution. With patience and practice, you can use perspective taking to improve your communication and relationship.