5 empathic ways to listen to your partner
Do you ever feel like you're not being heard by your partner? As if your concerns and opinions are falling on deaf ears? It's easy to get frustrated in those moments, but try not to lose sight of the fact that your partner is probably just trying to listen in their own way. Here are five empathic ways to listen to your partner!
1. Pay attention to your partner's body language
It is important to be aware of your partner's body language when you are listening empathically. When your partner feels heard, their body language will often reflect that. They may sit up straighter, make eye contact, or nod their head in understanding. On the other hand, if your partner feels unheard or misunderstood, their body language may reflect that as well. They may slump down in their chair, avert their gaze, or cross their arms defensively. Paying attention to your partner's body language can help you to gauge how they are feeling and whether or not they feel understood. In addition, it can also help you to adapt your own body language to better match theirs. For example, if your partner is leaning forward and making eye contact, you might do the same. Or if your partner is crossing their arms, you might try to open up your own posture to appear more welcoming. By paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, you can become a better listener and create a more connected relationship with your partner.
2. Don't interrupt your partner when they're speaking
One of the most important things you can do when listening to your partner is to avoid interrupting them. Interruptions signal that you're not really interested in what they have to say, and they can quickly lead to conflict. Instead, focus on giving your partner your full attention. Make eye contact, and resist the urge to mentally prepare your response while they're speaking. If you find yourself getting impatient, take a deep breath and try to remain open-minded. Remember, the goal is to understand your partner's perspective, not to win an argument. By showing that you're truly interested in what they have to say, you can build trust and strong communication in your relationship.
3. Acknowledge and validate your partner's feelings
When your partner is speaking, it is important to acknowledge and validate their feelings. This means that you are receptive to what they are saying and that you understand their perspective. This can be done by making eye contact, nodding your head, and using affirmative statements. For example, you might say "I can see that you're really upset about this" or "It sounds like you feel neglected." By validating your partner's feelings, you are showing that you care about their experience and that you are taking the time to empathize with them. This can go a long way toward resolving conflict and deepening intimacy in the relationship.
4. Ask open-ended questions; Don't give unsolicited advice
When you're trying to be understanding and supportive, it's important to resist the urge to give advice. Instead, open-ended questions can help prompt the person you're speaking with to explore their own thoughts and feelings. This allows them to come to their own conclusions, rather than feeling that they have to follow your suggestions. Additionally, avoid making assumptions or giving definitive answers. This can make the person feel like their experiences are invalid or that you don't really understand what they're going through. If you listen empathically and without judgment, you can provide the support that they need to work through their challenges.
5. Let your partner know that you're there for them
The key to being a good listener is to be empathetic. This doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything your partner says, but it does mean that you should try to see things from their perspective. In order to do this, you need to be able to suspend your own judgment and really listen to what they are saying. This can be difficult, but it's important to remember that your partner is an individual with their own thoughts and feelings. If you can try to understand where they're coming from, it will go a long way towards making them feel valued and understood. When your partner feels like you're truly on their side, it can make all the difference in the world.
Conclusion
The five ways to listen empathically are key to creating a strong and lasting relationship. By paying attention to your partner's body language, not interrupting them when they're speaking, acknowledging and validating their feelings, asking open-ended questions, and letting them know you're there for them, you create an environment where your partner feels heard and understood. This in turn builds trust and strengthens the bond between you. If you want to have a successful relationship, start by learning how to listen with empathy, and if you would like to learn more about how to improve your communication skills, please contact me. I would be happy to help!
