Gottman Therapy
What is the Gottman Method?
Committing ourselves to another individual for the rest of forever is one of the biggest and scariest decisions we can make. But, unfortunately, sometimes life gets in the way of that commitment, and for whatever reason, we begin to drift apart from our partner and feel like we’ve, to quote The Righteous Brothers, “lost that loving feeling.”
We know that relationships are complex and have many layers (like an onion or a parfait). I am here to help transform your relationship and help draw you closer to your partner. My goal is to help couples recognize personal and relational strengths and to assist both individuals in identifying the areas where improvement will be the most beneficial personally and within the relationship.
Both individuals bring a unique perspective as well as their talents into the relationship. This unique perspective helps shine a light on where the disconnect is personally and within the relationship.
Hope is what couples are looking for when they come in for marriage counseling; hope that the relationship is salvageable, hope that communication will increase, hope that they can rekindle the love they know is there. Hope is what the Gottman Method offers.
Why I use the Gottman Method?
I use the Gottman Method with all of our couples counseling. In using the Gottman Method, we help both individuals recognize what attracted them to their partner. I help partners increase healthy communication and understanding in their relationship, allowing the two of you to draw closer to one another. Couples will learn new tools that will increase their fondness for each other and strengthen their friendship. These tools will also help partners learn to increase respect, intimacy, and shared meanings within the relationship. All of this combined leads couples to reduce conflict. Couples can have difficult conversations in a much more productive way that ensures both are feeling heard and validated.
I have seen this method work wonders in the lives of my clients and my marriage! Even though I’m a therapist and someone who specializes in marital communication, I am not perfect. I still get it wrong sometimes, and I let my emotions and frustrations get the better of me, unfortunately, at my wife’s expense. I have, however, been able to use the Gottman Method to correct these situations quickly and efficiently! My wife and I have used various Gottman tools to truly listen to and validate each other’s perspectives and empathize with one another. We can bring up areas of concern gently rather than starting the conversation with attacks and criticism. We have been able to take breaks from arguments when we recognize that we are not getting anywhere in the discussion, and it is becoming more toxic and contentious. When we do come back to the conversation, after we have taken the time to cool off and practice some self-care, we can come to a resolution much more quickly than if we had stayed in the original contentious argument.