Building a Stronger Relationship: Turning Towards
Relationships are a journey, and like any journey, they have bumps along the way. However, committed relationships can be one of the most rewarding experiences in our lives, and the glue that binds the relationships is turning towards each other. In John Gottman's book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," he emphasizes the importance of turning towards as one of the keys to building stronger relationships. This post is dedicated to women in committed relationships who want to strengthen their romantic relationships using Gottman's turning towards technique.
Turning Towards V. Turning Away
When one partner tries to connect, feeling heard and understood is essential. Turning towards helps to create moments of connection and allows both partners to feel validated. Turning towards is the act of showing interest in your partner's life by acknowledging their bids for attention. A bid can come in various forms, from a simple question, a smile, a hug, to asking for help with a task.
According to Gottman, turning away or rejecting bids contributes to relationship dissatisfaction and can be used as a predictor of relationships failing. Turning towards helps to cultivate a deeper relationship with your partner by creating intimacy, which is the emotional glue that binds relationships.
Being Present
Turning towards requires you always to be present in the moment and actively listen to your partner. Responding positively to your partner's bid for connection by showing interest helps strengthen the relationship. Even in the mundane tasks, like washing dishes, turning towards can create a spark in the relationship. For instance, when your partner comes to the kitchen to join you, you can turn to them and ask if they want to help or engage in conversation.
Gottman also emphasizes that turning towards is more than responding to your partner's needs. It is taking an active role in their lives, being their friend and partner. You can turn towards your partner by being there for them when things get rough, empathizing with the problems they are facing, and embracing their dreams and goals.
Open Communication
In building a stronger relationship, communication is key. Turning towards provides an opportunity for open communication and allows for vulnerability. When a partner makes a bid for affection, it is an opportunity to express feelings and emotions. Active listening to the feelings underlying the question and responding positively leads to deeper connections. Partners who turn towards each other and can share their feelings build a bond based on vulnerability and trust.
Conclusion
Turning towards is an essential skill for building stronger relationships. According to Gottman's research, couples who turned towards each other and accepted bids for attention had lasting relationships built on positivity and connection. As a women in a committed relationship, turning towards can help you to create a deeper connection with your partner and establish a lasting relationship built on positivity and affection. When we turn towards each other, every day can be an adventure, and the journey is all the more significant. So, let us embrace turning towards and bring our relationships to the next level.
