How to Solve the Solvable Problems in Your Marriage
Marriage is not always a bed of roses, but it is a journey worth taking. It’s quite normal for couples to face conflicts in their marriage, be it small or big. However, it’s essential to address these issues before they become irreparable. The good news is that most marriage problems are solvable. You just need to know the right steps to take. In this blog, we’ll dive into the seven principals for making a marriage work by John Gottman and provide you with practical ways to solve the solvable problems in your marriage.
Identify the problem
The first step in solving any problem is identifying it. Sometimes, couples fight over small issues that could be easily resolved if only they communicate effectively. Carve out some quiet time together and talk about the problem. Be sure to listen to each other attentively without interrupting. Let your partner know that you understand their point of view.
Find common Ground
After identifying the problem, the next step is to find a common ground. Identify the things that you agree on and build on these. Make a list of things that you both enjoy and try to incorporate these in your solution. It could be something like going for a walk together or having dinner reservations at a favorite restaurant.
Approach things positively
If you approach things with a negative attitude, you are more likely to fuel the conflict. Instead, approach it with a positive attitude. Affirm your partner and express gratitude for the effort they are making to work on the issue. Try using “we” instead of “you” statements.
Brainstorm solutions
When you find yourselves in the middle of a conflict, it can be challenging to brainstorm solutions. Sometimes you might both be so focused on proving the other person wrong that you forget about the solution. During such moments agree to take a break from the argument. When you are both calm and collected, brainstorm for possible solutions. Identify the solutions that you can both agree upon. Remember that the solution should be practical and realistic.
Revisit and evaluate
Once you implement your solution, it’s essential to revisit and evaluate after some time. Evaluate if the issue has been solved or if it needs more work. Sometimes the solution may require some tweaking. Most importantly, evaluate if you are both happy with the solution. There’s no point in implementing a solution that only solves the problem temporarily.
Conclusion
In conclusion, solving the solvable problems in your marriage requires patience, understanding, and effective communication. Remember that conflicts are a normal part of marriage, but it’s how you handle them that matters. Be open to new ideas, be positive, and most importantly, always strive to find a common ground. Remember, it’s the small steps that make a significant difference in your marriage.
